Thursday, December 13, 2007

Week 15 Picks

After finishing below .500 last week (kill myself), here are my picks for this week of NFL action!

DEN (NL) @ HOU
This match-up is just a tease. The winner of this game will be 7-7 and get all excited thinking they are still in the running for the playoffs. They're not. Mark my words: the Broncos and the Texans will not be making the playoffs. Sorry guys.
MIKE'S PICK: Denver

CIN (-8.5) @ SF
At least nobody is going to be tempted to stay home on Saturday night and watch this game. I don't think Frank Gore's mother would watch this shit.
MIKE'S PICK: San Fran

TEN (-4) @ KC
Ladies and gentlemen, the Madden Curse continues. This time, instead of getting injured, Vince Young has just slipped into mediocrity. The shocking thing about this is that Vince Young probably had the best calendar year of any athlete in 2006. Think about it: winning the Rose Bowl by himself and leading the Titans to a near playoff spot. His 2007 has been awful though. If they miss the playoffs this year, they have nobody to blame but themselves.
MIKE'S PICK: TENNESSEE


SEA (-7.5) @ CAR
Lots of road favorites this week. This line is a joke. Carolina might be one of the worst teams in football.
MIKE'S PICK: SEATTLE

BUFFALO (+5.5) @ CLEVELAND
Great matchup here. The winner of this game gets the inside slot for the six seed in the playoffs. The Browns have had two consecutive bad weeks of football (loss against Arizona, close game vs. Jets), but they have more weapons then Buffalo has. Nothing against Buffalo, who many predicted to go 4-12 or worse this year.
MIKE'S PICK: CLEVELAND

BALTIMORE (-3.5) @ MIAMI
This could be it, Dolphins. You have your chance for a victory. The Ravens are stumbling now and have had a disappointing season. If you want a win, you probably need to do it this week. You probably need to do it this week.
MIKE'S PICK: BALTIMORE

GREEN BAY (-10) @ ST. LOUIS
I believe there is a rule in gambling. It says: never pick Brock Berlin to cover against an 11-2 football team.
MIKE'S PICK: GREEN BAY

JACKSONVILLE (+3.5) @ PITTSBURGH
I think the Pittsburgh Steelers taught the NFL a lesson last week. Don't guarantee a victory against the 2007 New England Patriots. I'm not sure about this Pittsburgh team. I keep hearing that they're the best defense in the league but I just don't see it.
MIKE'S PICK: JAX

ATLANTA (+13.5) @ TAMPA BAY
In case my Bobby Petrino article didn't make it all that clear what my feelings are about the man, I think Mr. Petrino is an ass. The Falcons are better off without him.
MIKE'S PICK: Atlanta

ARIZONA (+3.5) @ NEW ORLEANS
Tough game to pick against two middle-of-the-road teams. Both are capable of scoring at will. Both are capable of being blown out by. Any given Sunday...
MIKE'S PICK: NEW ORLEANS

INDIANAPOLIS (-10.5) @ OAKLAND
Still crossing my fingers for a JaMarcus Russell sighting. Just to see Brady Quinn throw things in his hotel room, screaming "I WENT TO NOTRE DAME!! I LOST EVERY SINGLE BCS GAME I PLAYED IN!! I COULDN'T BEAT USC TO SAVE MY LIFE!! I'M A MAN!! I'M 40!! COME AFTER ME!! I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!!"
MIKE'S PICK: INDY

GOD'S TEAM (+10) @ SAN DIEGO
SD with a totally garbage win last week. They didn't win that game, Tennessee lost it. Meanwhile, God's team blew a game last week too. God's team, who was once 6-2, will probably finish 6-10.
MIKE'S PICK: SAN DIEGO

PHILLY (+10.5) @ DALLAS
Did you know that Donovan McNabb had not taken a snap in December since 2004 before last week? Why would the Bears be interested in him as their quarterback? If I'm a Bears fan, I feel more comfortable with them rolling the dice on someone like Brian Brohme or Matt Ryan than the NFL's version of Ken Griffey, Jr.
MIKE'S PICK: DALLAS

WASHINGTON (+4.5) @ GIANTS
The fact that the New York Giants are 9-4 makes me throw up in my mouth. It's only a matter of time before Eli wets himself in January. And I, for one, cannot wait to see that.
MIKE'S PICK: WASHINGTON

CHICAGO (+10) @ MINNESOTA
The curse of the Super Bowl runner up continues. This is watchable just because it's Devin Hester and Adrian Peterson: The Rematch.
MIKE'S PICK: MINNESOTA ADRIAN PETERSONS

And I have saved the best for last

JETS (+23.5) @ PATS
I really hope Travis was kidding with his prediction. Because, folks, this is going to be a slaughter. Get your abacus ready. Bill keeps saying that there will be no different game plan this week...really? This coming from the guy that created plays to embarrass the Steelers safety that ran his mouth. The line could be 35 and I'd consider taking the Pats.
MIKE'S PICK: P! A! T! S! PATS PATS PATS PATS!

5 comments:

Travis Miller said...

you'd "consider" taking the Pats at -35? I'd put a couple hundred on it.

p.s. you're gonna get the redskins pick wrong. i don't even like the giants, but i'm just throwing that out there.

ERNie said...

Have fun with another sub .500 week.

Michael J. Clark said...

you got jokes, ernie??

ERnie said...

I can't make jokes better than those picks.

Travis Miller said...

boy are ernie and i eating every single word here?
Pats didn't cover, you went 9-7, redskins beat the giants.

jeez