Monday, June 23, 2008

Are you there, God? It's me...Seattle...

Dear God,

As you may know, we finished 88-74 last season. We just missed the playoffs, but it was quite an accomplishment for a squad whose marquee names are Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre. You know, players who make $13-15 million a year but play like they earn $400,000. Of course we had the always reliable Ichiro Suzuki, but let's be honest--he can't carry a team for a week, a month, or a year. Beltre and Sexson are the ones getting paid to do the heavy damage. We only had one starter with a sub-4.00 earned run average, and only one with more than 15 wins. J.J. Putz was a nice surprise with 40 saves and a 1.38 e.r.a. With Felix Hernandez only 21 years old and ever improving, and almost our entire starting roster returning, we were pretty confident going into the offseason.

We made our big move when we traded our number one prospect, Adam Jones, and a few other players, for Erik Bedard. This gave us two number one starters, one lefty and one righty. Our one-two punch on paper was as good as any other team's. Considering our 88 wins in '07, we expected at least 90, if not more, in '08. Definitely a contender for the division.

When the Angels lost their top two pitchers before the season even started, we instantly became favorites to take the A.L. West.

Let's skip further detail and get to the present. We're the worst team in baseball, fired our General Manager, fired our manager...now we're on our fourth in two seasons, Putz is on the DL for only you know how long, our top offseason acquisition is less than impressive in his starts so far, and injury seems imminent as he's been scratched from a few starts.

The lone bright spot has been our boy, Felix Hernandez. His e.r.a. is 2.83, and though the run support isn't there, he gives it his all each and every start.

God...I might start to get a little pissed talking to you now. I've used your name in vein more times than I can count since the bottom of the 5th inning tonight.

The game started out fine. We were facing Johan Santana and the Mets with our ace, King Felix, going for us. We capitalized early, loading the bases on an error, for Felix, who is 1-8 batting in his career. He served one out two deep right-center, and it sailed over the fence. We led 4-0, and even extended it to 5-0 before Felix gave up a leadoff double to Carlos Beltran in the bottom of the 5th. Carlos Delgado popped out, Beltran stole third, but Trot Nixon struck out swinging on a NASTY slider for the second out. With a 1-2 count on Ramon Castro, Felix threw one in the dirt and it got away. Beltran broke for home, and Felix ran in to cover the plate. Beltran slid, and caught Felix's knee. It twisted, his opposite foot stuck in the ground, and twisted the ankle on that leg. One strike away from being eligible for a win which he clearly deserved, given the masterpiece he was throwing against his fellow countryman and mentor.

What did we do to deserve this, God? What did we do? This isn't like the 90's Seattle teams with Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey, Jr., Randy Johnson, etc...We have a humble team, a young team, full of role players and few stars. These guys play their hearts out every day. They don't complain, they don't quarrel within. The chemistry is exceptional, so why the hell are we victims? WHY? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?!

What's next? Will you somehow manipulate us into trading Ichiro to the Yankees?

Humbly your ragdoll,

The Seattle Mariners

6 comments:

ERnie said...

Funny blog. I think you hit the nail right on the head with that team, what luck. Glad I'm not a Seattle fan.

ERnie said...

So... prayers have been answered? At least for Tuesday night. I hope that ump gets suspended for a long time.

Travis Miller said...

How do you fix your team?

play the mets!

How do the Mets fix their team?


...I have no idea.

ERnie said...

Fire Willie again!

Travis Miller said...

Firing Rick Peterson was probably the stupidest move they could have made...unless they WANT Oliver Perez to revert to his 2005-2006 Pittsburgh self.

Peterson had an uncanny ability to effectively deal with wild pitchers like Perez and Victor Zambrano.

ERnie said...

I think its almost safe to determine that its not a coaching problem the Mets are facing, its player personnel. Whether it be leadership or talent. It doesn't really appear to be talent. To me, the Mets have one of the best teams on paper, but no leadership.

Beltran and Delgado never seemed to me to have the balls to step up and take that role. Wright and Reyes are too young, Pedro has been hurt most of the season (not to mention he's a pitcher).

It'll be interesting to see if they can get it together after the All-Star game. If they can't, there might need to be a change at the GM position. Steve Phillips is available.