Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Pedroia? MVP?

Dear Baseball Writers' Association,

Dustin Pedroia? Are you serious? Come on, guys. It's not like he had a season like Ichiro had in 2001. He hit .326 with 17 home runs and 83 RBIs. Yeah, he had 118 runs and only six errors, but still, those numbers aren't impressive.

I'll show you impressive.

.300 batting average
11 home runs
69 RBIs
88 runs
12 errors

Now THAT, my friends, is impressive.

What? You say those numbers aren't as good as Pedroia's? Well you obviously can't read in between the lines.

Look again:

.300 batting average
intangibles
11 home runs
intangibles
69 RBIs
intangibles
88 runs
intangibles

12 errors

Do you see it now? INTANGIBLES! That is why Derek Jeter should be AL MVP! He got screwed in 2006 because some dumbass in Chicago didn't think intangibles counted for much, and suddenly it gets to a point two years later where intangibles don't even earn you a single MVP vote!

Derek Jeter is the greatest player in the history of baseball.

Derek Jeter is God.

Derek Jeter Derek Jeter Derek Jeter.

Pedroia plays on the RED SOX aka the scum of the world.

Derek Jeter plays on the NEW YORK YANKEES! THE GREATEST FRANCHISE EVER.

Why doesn't that count for anything anymore?

Love always,

Yankee fans


P.S. I can't wait for C.C. Sabathia to come to the Bronx. Mark Teixeira, too. Oh and Derek Lowe and A.J. Burnett. And with all the money coming off the books this season, we should probably sign Manny Ramirez, too. Just so nobody else can have him.

Loading up on stars hasn't worked since we started doing it in 2001, but I've got a special feeling about next season. DEREK JETER.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Probably your funniest blog yet.