Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Live All-Star blogging

Disclaimer: If you can't handle extreme scrutiny of Joe Buck and the New York Yankees, chances are good that you probably shouldn't read this.

8:52
p.m. - The game finally started at 8:47, I guess they warned us that the ceremony would take so long, but they probably could have cut it in half while getting their point across. I'm really dejected about how the game is going so far. Not only did the pre-game ceremonies take too long, but there was WAY too much Joe Girardi. I understand he's the Yankees' manager, but please. Also, the New York fans are booing 75% of the players who are announced. Ridiculous. They even booed Terry Francona, who just announced that Mariano Rivera would close the game for the AL if the opportunity arose. They should at least show some respect for everyone involved in the game, especially considering they're all kind of on the same side here.

Cliff Lee had a DOMINANT first inning. He deserves to pitch another.

Joe Buck announced Derek Jeter as the man who has "done nothing but win" since putting on pinstripes. Then Tim McCarver states that the Yankees haven't won the World Series since 2000. Good teamwork, guys.

8:55 p.m. - DAMNIT why did Jeter have to get the first hit? That was the last thing I wanted to happen. Great, now he stole a base. Showoff. May-Rod probably just got booed for not driving in the captain.

9:07 p.m. - Great work by Lee. I am not going to see "Swing Vote," nor will I rent it, nor will I watch it if it is ever on TV.

9:10 p.m. - Sheets' curveball is nasty tonight. Buck just apologized for screwing up Justin Duchscherer's name in the pre-game ceremony. Then he also mentioned that he was filling in for Bob Sheppard. Too bad Sheppard couldn't make the game, that would have added to the pageantry of the night to have him be the P.A. announcer. I didn't think of that before Buck said it.

9:28 p.m. - Yogi Berra just called Joe Buck "Jack," his father's name. Beautiful.

9:33 p.m. - That's more like it. It turns me on when Jeter grounds into double plays! They really love to be blunt about Josh Hamilton's addictions. Last night it was shooting heroin, tonight it's smoking crack.

9:48 p.m. - I wasn't sure if I wanted to see "Pineapple Express" when it comes out, but the preview just had M.I.A. "Paper Planes" playing in it. Now I'm definitely seeing it.

9:53 p.m. - Good thing Matt Holliday went deep to get the NL on top--Dan Haren is coming in, the AL has seen plenty of him and can feast on his pitching.

10:00 p.m. - I hope they don't keep playing that Heineken Light commercial all night or else I'll be singing "It's love. It's love. It's love. It's la-la-la-la-la-la-la-love!" for the next week.

10:10 p.m. - They need to get Jeter out of there. He's really dragging the AL down. Grounds into a double play then leaves two on base? If they want to win, they need to get Michael Young in there.

10:13 p.m. - I'm normally not an advocate of pimping MLB to movies and such, but the graphics for that "X-Files" segment were pretty cool and apparently Gillian Anderson is as hot as ever despite being 40. Nice.

10:15 p.m. - $20 says Utley goes deep in this at-bat.

10:18 p.m. - I owe someone $20. But the NL is about to break this game open.

10:24 p.m. - And by "break this game open," I mean "take a 2-0 lead." At least Jeter is out of there. George Steinbrenner doesn't belong in the Hall of Fame. Tim McCarver and Joe Buck are tools for thinking that unless Fox has manipulated that idea because of its partnership with the Yankees. Conspiracy? I think so.

10:29 p.m. - Joe Torre should be on Clint Hurdle's coaching staff instead of GlenAllen Hill. Just a thought.

10:41 p.m. - Joe Nathan and Russel Martin got great recognition from Joe Buck for their underrated accomplishments not just this season, but the past several seasons.
Who the hell is Josh Groban? Not that I care, his rendition of "God Bless America" is much better than that excuse for singing in the pre-game when Sheryl Crow performed the National Anthem. That was horrendous. I know it was promoting cancer research, but they could have done better than that.

10:42 p.m. - They just showed Derek Jeter crying in the dugout during "God Bless America." What a terrible facade. He's an ass.

10:48 p.m. - The advantage here in the late innings has to go to the A.L. Even though the N.L. has a 2-0 lead, Terry Francona is sending out seasoned veteran closers out to the mound the rest of the way while Clint Hurdle is still putting young starting pitchers in the game for the late innings.

10:53 p.m. - That didn't take long. 2-2. I don't think they're going to boo J.D. Drew as bad as he rounds the bases.

10:57 p.m. - No. I'm gonna be optimistic. The N.L. is going to break the hearts of all Yankee fans and win the game against Mariano! Rivera will get the loss tonight!

11:00 p.m. - Yankee fans are classless. Booing Papelbon for misconstrued remarks spun by New York media. He was already mad about that, then Yankee fans threatened his pregnant wife during the fan fest. Now they're chanting "Papelbum" and "overrated." This is pathetic and is taking everything away from the game.

11:03 p.m. - Okay, they're half right. He gave up the hit but the run was unearned and was because of the throwing error on Dioner Navarro. 3-2, N.L. and Papelbon is in line to lose. I hope Mariano gets shelled so they forget about Papelbon.

11:16 p.m. - AH! Why is Wagner in?! I know I'm supposed to have faith in my team's closer...but let's be honest. He can blow this thing.

11:19 p.m. - Apparently I'm having techinical difficulties, but this is a sped up version of my reaction to Billy Wagner screwing up. Not sure how this got put on a mega fast forward, but you get the idea.
video

11:24 p.m. - K-Rod is in, but if he pitches the whole 9th and the A.L. wins in the bottom, Mariano doesn't get in! Drama! Francona will probably put Mo in with two outs or something.

11:26 p.m. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here comes Mo with one out and Ludwick coming to bat. If Rivera gives up the game-winning hit, Rodriguez will get the loss since he left a runner on base. This is crap.

11:32 p.m. - New conspiracy theory. This whole game is staged so Mariano would come in and get a huge strike 'em out, throw 'em out double-play. He's obviously gonna get the win in the bottom of the ninth. I hate the Yankees.

11:37 p.m. - Stop showing Derek Jeter. He's not in the game, he has no bearing on the outcome.

11:42 p.m. - Nobody wants extra innings. Blah.

11:48 p.m. - They really want to get Mo the win. Sending him out again? I hope he loses.

11:51 p.m. - Mariano can blow this! You gotta believe!!!!

11:53 p.m. - WHY WHY WHY MUST YOU GROUND INTO A DOUBLE PLAY, DAN UGGLA?!!!

12:01 a.m. - We all know what's gonna happen. I'm done blogging.

12:04 a.m. - WOW! I can't believe Cook got out of that! This is a great game. Too long though. Way too long.

12:12 a.m. - There has got to be some crisis management plan after what happened in Milwaukee a few years back. I can't see this game going much longer if the A.L. doesn't win here in the bottom of the 11th. Advertisers are getting a steal by the game going this late while their commercials get such a huge audience.

12:19 a.m. - This is great baseball now. They're actually using strategy. Navarro thought about a sac bunt, there was a pitch out, a blown call, a walk, and now a base hit. AND NOW...Michael Young is up. This is excellent.

12:22 a.m. - It's moments like these that make you think this whole thing is staged, like the games are scripted. These guys are all proving why they're All-Stars and this is an epic ending. Everyone expected Young to get a hit and win the game, but then Navarro gets thrown out at home. The twists won't stop coming!

12:29 a.m. - This is a great strategy for McLouth. The All-Stars don't have time to go over late inning strategy with each other since the break is so short and there is so much other stuff for the players to do leading up to the game. The miscommunication on playing his bunt may turn out to be crucial if Uggla can come through here, making up for his two errors that nearly cost them the game earlier. You can't write a better story. That's why he'll probably get out! It's not what we expect...but McLouth has proven he's an All-Star since he got in the game. I'd vote for him for MVP is nothing dramatic happens to win the game and the NL prevails.

12:33 a.m. - You have to appreciate how seriously this game is being taken now. Going to Sherrill, the lefty, to face a lefty, Adrian Gonzalez. It only takes 11 innings for the All-Star game to start to be taken seriously. It should start in the 11th inning every year!

QUICK ADDITION BY MICHAEL J:
Here's why I love Grady Sizemore. He's got Grady's Ladies, he's not that hard on the eyes, he rakes for my fantasy team, and most importantly, if he ever married Tom Brady, they would become either a) Grady Brady or b) Tom Sizemore. I think I prefer Tom Sizemore.

12:44 a.m.- Still Clark. Kinsler will win this game right here, following on Hank Blalock and Michael Young's footsteps

12:46 a.m.-Please disregard previous prediction. That is why I'm a hack, ladies and gents. (Who am I kidding? Gents.) A few quick questions. Do you think Elvis deserves "Viva Viagra"? How rough of a game is Dan Uggla having? Poor guy. When will Ernie send Russell Martin his promise ring? When did Christian Guzman stop sucking? How crazy would it have been if George Sherrill threw the bat shard at David Wright on his way to first?

12:51 a.m. [Travis] - I have no idea how this game is going to end. But I imagine it will be exactly what we don't want to happen and we'll be really upset with the ending, forgetting about the glamour of this game.

12:53 a.m. - In reference to the Sizemore/Brady affair, I prefer Grady Brady. That would be a good looking love child, no? Guzman didn't stop sucking: Zimmerman, Dmitri Young, Nick Johnson, Lastings Milledge, and Elijah Dukes all got snubbed for the team! Imagine an all Nationals All-Star team! That would be like...the Nationals...eew, nevermind. But if Sherrill threw the shard at Wright, the Yankees would acquire him by the deadline.

12:58 a.m.- [Clark] How much does Rich Harden hate Carlos Marmol after what he did against the Giants? Probably as much as Roy Halladay hates his offense. If I were Halladay, I would never speak to Adam Lind.

1:00 am- [Clark] This isn't fun anymore. This is really Dan Uggla's worst nightmare. He's so much better than what he's doing tonight. I really feel for the guy. I hope he has a huge second half.

1:02 A.M. (Barrows) Dan Uggla's worst nightmare alright. It certainly isn't Josh Hamilton's dream.
1:05 AM (Clark) Hey, Carlos Quentin. You kiss your mother with that mouth?

1:07 a.m. [Travis] - Wow...all those thoughts I had about McLouth having an amazing game wasn't enough to will that ball to 315 feet...only 312. I still have my conspiracy theory that this is scripted to make the legendary Yankee Stadium highlight reel, but I'm truly enjoying this game...don't tell anyone I said that.

1:09 AM (Clark) I've seen a lot of games at Yankee Stadium. I thought Nate McClouth was going upper deck with that shot. He'll be a Yankee in three years. I can see why Travis hates us.

1:10 a.m. [Travis] - I have to give credit to Buck and McCarver now, too. They're really rising to the occasion and getting into the game.

1:11 AM (Clark) Joe Buck just asked Tim McCarver if he had Carlton's cell phone number. I know he probably meant Carlton Fisk, but how funny would it be if Tim McCarver had Alfonso Ribiero's phone number?

1:12 AM (Barrows) I still say they can bring in Boggs to pitch if they have to save Kazmir. He threw a scoreless inning once and they say knuckleball pitchers can throw forever...he has one of those.

1:14 a.m. [Travis] -I fully support bringing Boggs in to pitch for the A.L. This game would end QUICK!

1:16 A.M. (Clark) Very upset about Jake Taylor striking out like that.

1:17 a.m. [Travis] - I finally figured out how this game is going to end. Jeter will be let back in the game because he's the captain and he'll hit a walk off home run.

1:18 a.m. [Travis] - OH! OR WILL JOE GIRARDI BE ALLOWED TO PINCH HIT AND HIT A HOME RUN?! HE'LL FINALLY BE A TRUE YANKEE!

1:20 a.m. [Clark] Jimmy Leyritz is sitting at home right now incredulous that he's not at this game. Because the All-Star game should be Jimmy Leyritz's greatest concern right now.

1:22 a.m. (Barrows) Don Zimmer is going to storm the AL dugout, and take out Francona for using Kazmir. The Yankee Stadium crowd will go crazy.

1:23 a.m. [Joe Morgan] So I was talking to my good friend Pete Rose who I was on the Big Red Machine with and we think there should be instant replay. Jaret Wright having a great at bat.

1:28 a.m. [Travis] - Is it just me or does Scott Kazmir have more acne than the front row at Backstreet Boys concert?

1:28 a.m. [Clark] I know the State Farm commercial where the guy gives up the ball to young kid is supposed to show selflessness and being a good neighbor, but every time I see it, I totally keep thinking that that selfish little kid has his whole life to catch a home run ball. Freeloading son of a bitch.

1:31 a.m. [Travis] -After that Ludwick catch, that reminded me...is Jeffrey Maier at this game?

1.33 AM [Clark] That was Dioneer Navarro's biggest hit since he left Jane's Addiction.

1:35 a.m.
[Travis] - I no longer want nor expect this game to end.

1:36 a.m. [Travis] - Until I found out Michael Young was up. Everything has come full circle. I understand the meaning of life now.

1:38 a.m. [Travis] - Speaking of full circle, I hate my life again because Derek Jeter found his way into the replay. I thought we were over him. HIS REPLACEMENT WON THE GAME! So I should be saying "I'm glad Jeter got voted in so Young could replace him!"

NO! I'm saying Jeter shouldn't even be in the game at all!! Young should have started and played the whole thing! He's earned it!

1:40 am [Barrows] - What a game. There's so many things to say, but nothing that hasn't been said. Amazing.

1:42 a.m. [Travis] - Agreed.

1:45 a.m. [Clark] My theory is that if only Corey Hart embraced his name and wore his sunglasses at night, he would have thrown out Justin Morneau. God damn you, Corey Hart the baseball player! You need to hang out with Adam Jones, the Oriole. Just go by Pacman already.

1:49 a.m. [Travis] - My final thoughts. Jeanie Zelasco would look much better if she were Erin Andrews, and pardon J.D. Drew for not being excited about winning a Hybrid SUV. He has three Hummers sitting in the driveway at home.

1:51 a.m. [Barrows] - I'm going to end on this note. Since JD Drew has a car he has no use for, he should donate it to the Make A Wish Foundation. I'm sure there's a 16 year old who wished he could receive a car from the MVP of the All-Star game.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Why did that faggot Joe Buck get to call the All-Star game? 15 innings, he must have been bored out of his mind.

Great game though, so much for your guarantee Trav.