Thursday, May 15, 2008

Celtic Pride II

Scene: The Marriott Marquis, Cleveland OH, Room 1B. Doc Rivers is watching gametape with his wife Kristen.

DOC: See there! That's where LeBron tells his mama to sit his ass down.
KRISTEN: I know, honey. You've showed me this like ten times.
DOC: Are you kidding me? This has almost as many hits as Sue Simmons dropping the F bomb.
KRISTEN: I understand, babe. But shouldn't you be more focused on game plan?
DOC: Babe, do you not read the newspapers? We won yesterday. The series is 3-2. The pressure's off us.
KRISTEN: But don't you want to put Cleveland away? You know how great LeBron can be on any given day. Why don't you just have James Posey cover him these last two games?
DOC: Last time I checked, James Posey isn't a part of the Big Three. Plus, he doesn't even have a ring.
KRISTEN: 2006 with Miami, actually.
DOC: Enough of this arguing, babe. What do you say we put out the Do Not Disturb sign on our door and have some happy time?

CUT TO: 5 minutes later, Doc and Kristen lying in bed

KRISTEN: Wow. That was pretty awful.
DOC: God, that's so unlike me.
KRISTEN: I know! You're so great back home.
DOC: I just don't understand it.
Scene: Kevin Garnett, Sam Cassell, Wally Sczerbiak, and Delonte West playing poker.

WEST: (after winning big pot) Wow. Kevin, we've been playing cards together for years and I've never realized how bad your tell is.
GARNETT: I don't have a tell.
SCZERBIAK: Yeah, you do actually. I've never noticed it before either.
CASSELL: I don't see anything.
SCZERBIAK: I'm just happy that I'm making a lot of the money back that I lost to the two of you last week. What a crazy game, this poker.

Cassell goes all in, called by West. Cassell turns up a 2-3 offsuit, West turns up pocket queens.

Scene: Ray Allen walks out of his hotel room, sees that Denzel Washington entering the room across from him

RAY: Denzell! How are you man, I haven't seen you since we did the movie together!
DENZEL: Hey Ray. Congrats on getting this far in the playoffs.
RAY: I know! I'm not used to it. So what are you up to?
DENZEL: Here shooting a movie with Jamie Foxx and Kevin Spacey. I was just about to head to the gym to shoot the ball around. Wanna come with?

Cut to: Denzel and Ray standing outside Bally's Total Fitness.

DENZEL: Wow. So that was a role reversal from the movie, huh?
RAY: I can't believe I lost to you, old man.
DENZEL: Not only did you lose, but you lost 11-2. What's up with that?
RAY: I have no idea


Travis Miller said...

boy, thank god for the quality of the first joke. the visual of Doc Rivers making whoopie with his babybaby hurt my head.

Michael J. Clark said...

sorry for leaving you so high and dry the past month bissinger has been sending me threatening e-mails, so i thought i'd lay low for a bit